there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
