To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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