At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
