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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you definitely held a convo with a hobo

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we have a secret handshake

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death

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• (714): View more from California

  I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.

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