There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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