I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
