I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
