so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
