i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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