my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm both gender and math confused
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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