So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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