Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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