I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
