She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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