We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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