I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
