i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
