just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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