i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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