How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
