I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
