saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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