so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Randomize
