We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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