Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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