Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
