Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
