Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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