I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
