Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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