this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
