Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
