singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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