I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
