Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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