Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
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