got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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