That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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