Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
