do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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