The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
