Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
