ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
