I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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