Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
