Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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