New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
