How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
