sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
