come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
