well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
