The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
we're so committed to being not committed
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
