Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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